This Is A Confession

I'm going to talk about a lot of words I don't like. If you use these words, please don't take this as criticism. You have every right to use whatever words you please, and if my opinion of them bothers you, ignore me. If anyone actually criticizes how you speak, ignore them louder, just stand up for yourself. Don't take any notice of language bullies. Remember we all have the same rights. You have the right to use whatever words you please, just as I have the right to dislike certain words. And of course, vice versa.

There are a lot of buzz terms, neologisms and slangs that just make me shudder. It's not that I'm anti-slang, I'm just selective. Some I like, some I don't. That's just how it is.

I don't like "bling". I don't know where it comes from, but I wish it would go back there. Used as a joke, fine, but there are other words, with a bit more specific meaning. The language is in fact rich with such words. This is half the problem with some slang. I have no issue, not really with the words "stuff" or even "shit" used to describe your general belongings, or a collection of items that you are referring to, but let's vary it up a bit.

I like language to be elegant, and have the ugly words saved for effect, in ugly situations. So much of what I dislike is just sounds that grate on my ears. Bling is an ugly word, used to describe something beautiful (or possibly trashy, but INTENDED to be beautiful).

While I'm at it, I don't like to hear any hip-hop words spoken by white people, and that's the end of it. I don't even like yo. No, I especially don't like yo. And I'll tell you what's up, the ceiling. And all those izzle words are just...done. Stop it.

I don't like racial epithets, I think that goes without saying, if you think that's me being politically correct, too bad. It's a question of fairness and good manners. It doesn't make you amusing or clever to call people names, it makes you a jerk, actually. And here's an exception to my advice about language bullies. Just cut it out, for everyone's sake.

Incidentally, I don't like the Australian and French habit of chopping off the second half of a word and adding an O. Why two nations both came up with the same ugly thing, in two different languages, I will never know, it has to be a coincidence, but ugh, just ugh.

I don't like people calling full-grown dogs puppies. They're not. And while I'm at it, I don't like hearing kittie for a cat of any age, particularly by an adult. OK, there's a whole category of words there that offend me, baby talk, except it's not suitable for babies either. Children are supposed to be learning English, not a dumbed down version of it.

A lot of words I dislike revolve around the family. My kids even know what one of them is, and use it on purpose to drive me crazy. I dislike "Mother" being used as a name. It's is not my name, nor is it a title I opt for. Call me "Mom", call me "Mommy" if you are trying to get round me, or even "Mama" if you are being funny, but don't call me "Mother". It's stiff, it's cold, it's way too formal, and it has a ring of attitude about it. (Which is why they do it).

But that's just my kids being clever. One that offends me deeply is "Baby" being used as a name. I have no problem with people skipping the name, and saying "My baby", and for others to say "Your baby" or even "The baby", but "Baby" on  its own makes my skin crawl. That is NOT its name. You used to see it quite often in older literature, and it made me growl - "Take Baby out for a walk in the sunshine". Grrrr.

While I'm here, I'm going to object to an objection. Some very silly people object to the word "kid", saying it's slang. I remember my mother-in-law: "Whats is he, a goat?" No, you silly woman. The word kid is older than the word child. They both come from the same root as the German "Kind". It's not new, it's not slang, it's a variant, and a very old one.

But I'll tell you what I don't like, and that's kiddie or kiddo. These are incredibly popular, and they make my skin crawl. What's even worse is kiddiwinkies, but thankfully, only used in jest.

I don't like words being used in the wrong way. For example people say irregardless, when they mean regardless. They say literally when they mean figuratively.

I have never actually heard anyone say ax instead of ask, but if they did, my face would tell all. I have heard asterix.....he was a Gaul, not a punctuation mark. And it's orangutan. There's no g on the end. Likewise yin yang. Spell it right, say it right. And there is no s on anyway. Ever.

I don't like words being butchered, like library pronounced as lie-berry. I can even raise an eyebrow to Feb-you-erry, although I'll say nothing, it's so bloody common. Antarctica has a c in the middle. Use it.

And while I'm here I like swear words, especially fuck. I like fuck. It's a good clean Anglo-Saxon word and it says what it means, and no messing around. But I don't like the C word. It denigrates women, and it was meant to. I don't like dafuq. This is my boys' current favourite, and it's really starting to get old. Like many of these things, it was funny the first 100 times, but I'm done now.

I'm quite certain I've annoyed everyone in this blog. I expect all of you were reading along, nodding, smiling, and then at some point went "HEY! Wait a minute!", because there was one of your favourite words listed. Well, that's just how it is. We all have our preferences.