It would be so nice here to say that I'm so opposed to violence, that I refuse to watch "acted" violence on principle. But it wouldn't be true. One of my favourite movies is "Once Upon A Time In Mexico". And I really enjoyed "Kill Bill" too. I had no problem with the punch-up in "Sherlock Holmes" (2009) and let's be perfectly clear here - if you swing at me, I'll swing back.
No, I don't approve of violence but if it's necessary in self-defence, or if it's choreographed really well, that's fine.
But I cannot stand battle scenes on movies. They all go on too long, although frankly, the 2 minute ones are 1:59 minutes too long. It doesn't make any difference what sort of battle it is, be it orcs or spaceships, or just the jolly old cavalry. Let's just take that bit as read, and move on the story.
Why is this? Why is the action scene that everyone else looks forward to the part that bores me silly? It's not that I don't like action, I love a good car chase. It's probably more to do with my disinterest in sport. I fast-forward through Quidditch games too.
Sport just leaves me stone cold. It's supposed to be exciting, but it's just another battle. I wander off, find something to do.
And this probably goes some way to explain my lack of interest in most modern video games. They all involve fighting, one way or another. But again, please don't get any idea that I'm virtuous, and that it's against my principles. That would be nice, but I can't claim it. I just can't be bothered. It's repetitive, unsatisfying, and has absolutely no appeal.
Shooting things? Where's the fun in that? Give me a target, now that's worth shooting. There's a way of measuring skill. That's something that would amuse for for at least ten minutes.
I'd much rather paint the target. Or make the gun, come to think of it.
My drive is to create. Destruction is just too easy, and it only becomes interesting at all if there is art involved. There usually isn't.
There is something fundamentally not me about destruction. It's not pacifism, as much as I wish it were. It's just boredom.