"I am really excited about......"
"I am really nervous about............"
"Don't judge me."
"I feel guilty about something."
A message justifying a lifestyle choice.
"I have really low self-esteem."
A message attempting to justify an obviously poor lifestyle choice.
"I need vindication from my dysfunctional peers."
A vague, generalized reference to negative behaviour.
"I really want to criticize somebody here, but unfortunately they will read this."
A random line from a song, that suggests (to those unfamiliar with the song) that something awful is happening.
"Ha ha ha. Made you worry about me."
A message full of typos.
"I am drunk."
"I am so happy, everything in my life is great!"
"I am as miserable as sin but I just read up on positive thinking."
"I love my wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend SO much!!!"
"We just had a huge argument. But it's fixed now. Well, for now anyway."
"I love my family SO MUCH!!"
They are normally highly dysfunctional, but they just surprised everyone by doing something good.
"I love my kids/grandchildren so much!!!"
"Actually they are as annoying as hell."
A list of what I achieved today.
"Normally I sit on my lazy arse and do nothing, so I'm showing off."
General negativity about my appearance or character.
"I am fishing for compliments."
A totally cryptic message.
"I am seeking attention."
A truly bizarre message.
"I am seeking attention in a very dysfunctional way."
A hint at suicide ideation.
"I REALLY NEED ATTENTION!"