Monday, 7 October 2013


Facebook censors took down a graphic and thread from my wall last night. This only happens when somebody reports it. Which means somebody on my contacts list reported it. So for your perusal I present a VERY OFFENSIVE GRAPHIC. You have been warned. This is extremely filthy.

I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm sure you'll never recover.

The comments are even worse. Some of them came through as email notifications, which I dug out my spam folder. Obviously they don't include my own comments but I can remember them more or less.

I remarked initially that this wouldn't be much of a change for me, or words to that effect.

Carolyn wrote: "I don't think I'll be joining that! Too uncomfortable."

I remarked that I find bras uncomfortable.

Carolyn wrote: "We're all different :)"

I think I agreed and wandered off at that point.

My daughter also commented

Sian wrote: "LOL I will do my best to participate! :P"

Shocking, ain't it?

I've put the graphic up again this morning, it will be interesting to see if it stays or goes. So it's a test.

So, all in all, that was just a rather neat example for the blog I was going to write ANYWAY, this morning.

It is not uncommon for people to take offence over differing things, and as I've pointed out many times before, Western society as a whole seems to have its priorities screwed up, where it thinks nudity or sex is wrong but violence is OK. If you watch TV during the day, i.e. at a time when children are expected to see it, this is quite clear from the content. Similarly at events, such as sports events, aggression and fighting are televised without hesitation, but if a woman's clothing becomes disarranged during a song the entire nation melts down. And the last time there was censorship on my page I pointed out that Facebook permits some pretty appalling stuff, soft porn, in effect, while regularly removal pro breast feeding pictures.

And so on, you know all this.

So there are several issues here, including (but not limited to) prudishness, hypocrisy, wrong priorities, and selective censorship.

Facebook is not to blame really. They are just reflecting the weird attitudes of the society they are part of.

As a foreigner I am looking at it from a skewed angle. Despite what they tell you about the English stuff upper lip, we are actually far, far more open-minded. Especially in recent times. We recovered much better from the Victorian nonsense than others, and ye Gods what a massive hypocrisy that was. So much talk about decency while the most appalling things were going on downstairs. In case you don't know, it has been estimated that well over half of the pregnancies in unmarried women in those days was from rapes committed by employers. These girls then lost their respectability, their income, and were often on the street. They were then vilified, obviously, if they turned to prostitution to feed themselves. It was such a ridiculous "blame the victim" cycle, and meanwhile the men responsible divided their free time between preaching about morality to anyone who'd listen, and purchasing the services of said girls.

Has anything really changed?

The answer is no. You don't need to look far to see it. Priorities in modern western society are unbelievably back to front. A song with one four-letter word will have it bleeped out on the radio, but lyrics like this are just fine:

The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back thought she was a goner
But, the bitch came back she couldn't stay away
Don't you know the bitch came back?

I like her so much better when she's down on her knees
'Cause when she's in my face that's when I'm starting to see
That all my friends are laughing thinking that we belong
Well she's so fuckin' stupid that she's singing along

The trouble with girls is they're all the same
Forget the diamonds and pearls they just want a ring
Before you know it you're like a dog on a leash
Well you can try and change the world but you won't change me

The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back thought she was a goner
But, the bitch came back she couldn't stay away
Don't you know the bitch came back?

There she goes again just always breaking my balls
No matter what I do somehow it's always my fault
She says I must be cheating cause I turned off my phone
But that's the only frickin way she'll leave me alone

The trouble with girls is never enough
Love to complain and they never shut up
Like to tell you the way it ought to be
Go on and tell the world just don't tell me

The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back thought she was a goner
But, the bitch came back she couldn't stay away
Don't you know the bitch came back?

It ain't a joke when I say I wanna throw you out 
(I really mean it) (I really mean it)
Well look who's laughing now
The bitch came, the bitch came back
The bitch came, the bitch came back
The bitch came, the bitch came back
She just couldn't stay away

It goes without saying that there are far, far worse out there, but they are by artists I'm not familiar with. I thought it would make a change for a rock band to be called out, and for me (as a fan of rock music, as opposed to the other guilty genres) to look at the dirt in my own yard, as it were.

You see, the problem is about intent. Not appearances. Swear words, naked bodies, etc, are not harmful. They are just words, and just bodies. Everyone has a body. We cover them up because of cultural imperatives, there's no natural reason to so if the weather is good.

If you don't like swear words, don't use them. That's fine. If you don't like nudity, then keep your shirt on.

But if you're going to preach morality, keep it straight, keep it even.

Let's invent two men. Bob and Fred.

Bob is a biker. He has a lot of tattoos, and he drinks a lot of beer. He's very loud. He swears a lot. He farts in public and laughs.

Fred is an accountant. He is very clean, and his hobbies include washing his car and mowing his lawn. He goes to church every Sunday.

Who is the better man? The answer is you don't know. You can't possibly know. You can make assumptions, but unless you know the most intimate details of their lives, you can't tell who is the better man.

You might even say, there's no such thing as a better man.

But if you heard that one of them had just been  beating his wife, which one would you expect it to be? Go on, admit it, your mind would jump to Bob. Despite the fact you don't know him, don't know anything about him, and have no evidence to suspect him.

It's OK to say "ah well, stereotypes will do that" but ask the people who do counselling for battered women, and they'll tell you straight. The vast, vast majority of men who beat women are, by appearance, respectable men. Including goody two shoes men like Fred. Plenty of them. Which doesn't mean that dirty bikers never do it, just that not only does the one does not mean the other, the reverse to your expectations is the reality.

Enlightened people know better than to judge by appearances, but they do it anyway.

I'm a bit peculiar in this respect because I've reached a different prejudice over the years. If I meet somebody who seems too squeaky clean, I suspect them. I have become, over time, based on experience, highly suspicious of people with a very "respectable" appearance. It seems to me they are all hiding something. The sad part is, I'm usually right.

What they are hiding may not be anything unethical, you understand. Nothing bad. But let's say they have a skeleton in the closet. They have some personal detail, something in their history, something in their family that they'd really prefer you didn't know. The majority of times this turns out to be the case.

The more respectable the outward appearance, the greater chance of me subsequently learning their shame. And quite often, it's not their fault.

I read of a celebrity whose grandfather was a Nazi war criminal. He'd tried to keep it quiet, even used legal means to prevent the media mentioning it, but it's like trying to stuff feathers in a bag, isn't it. So now it's all over his Wikipedia page, and it looks worse. It wasn't his fault. Good grief, who can be responsible for their grandfather? If he'd just been open about it most people would have sympathized with him. As it is, trying to cover it up makes him look bad.

You can understand his shame. But this type of thing is going on all the time, not just with embarrassing grandfathers.

Before I go any further, I just want to state that I am not suggesting that just because you never swear, it's because your aunt was an axe murderer. Don't go down that rabbit hole. There is no need to defend yourself.

It's all part of a greater issue with our society. Our society is sick. It loses track of the purpose. It doesn't begin to understand what morality is, but talks about it endlessly. 


  1. I read this earlier but on the mobile and it was too hard to comment. I have to start by laughing at the picture: In pink letters it says: Support Breast Cancer. Yup, cancer has benefited greatly from all the action the last few decades. Same as people running "for cancer". They should at least run against cancer. After the last child my bra-free days ended, no big deal one way or the other. I shared your breast feeding image on FB, did not keep track of it afterwards. Of course they're nuts. We know that.

    1. They wording it like that, no matter how many people point it out. I have no idea why.