Wednesday, 18 June 2014

Close your Mouth

Yes, I'm going to have a go at conservatives. No, I know it doesn't apply to all conservatives. Close your mouth, or you'll catch flies.

I'm seeing a very twisted logic among our right-wing friends. It relates to guns and short skirts. Yes, I know they like both, but they treat them differently.

Guns, they say, are wrongly blamed for injuries and deaths. "Guns don't shoot people," they say, "people do." They make jokes about it. You haven't heard them? Oh they're FUNNY. They are about the gun that was lying on the porch and didn't shoot anyone. Ha ha ha. Chortle chortle. (Actually they usually say it was laying on the porch, which has me wondering where the eggs are, maybe they think that's what the bullets are. Not being into science and all.)

They do things like this:

Très drôle.

But I get it, obviously. Guns are inanimate objects. They have no conscience, no mind, no soul, and above all no ability. Unless somebody pulls a trigger they don't do ANYTHING.

So, why is it, they think short skirts have awesome cosmic powers?

First of all, they are magnetic. They FORCE men to look at them.

Secondly, they cause accidents. "It's too distracting."

Thirdly, they can lead to students failing. "The boys couldn't concentrate on their work."

But this is nothing compared to what short skirts are really capable of. They cause rapes. It's quite a feat for a piece of fabric, but there it is. Guns don't cause death, but short skirts cause rapes.

"Oh, come now, that's a poor analogy."

Of course it is. Like spoons, skirts can be used in many safe ways. They don't accidentally go off in careless hands. If children get hold of them, they are very unlikely to cause accidental injuries. In fact, if used exactly as intended these two items provide nourishment and warmth. I'm not seeing a lot of spoon or skirt heists, either.

But that's logic. I am fully aware that this is not about logic. I am fully aware that this is a simple case of victim blaming.

I just thought it was time somebody pointed it out.


  1. Can someone say, 'double-standard?' or [insert appropriate disconnected label here]. ;) ~ Blessings! :)

  2. OMG, we are SO on the same wavelength with this. I love how you made the comparison to short skirts. I hadn't thought of that one. I've usually used "porn ruins marriages." Yours is perhaps more acceptable in mixed company, but just as poignant. The cognitive dissonance of the right is mind-blowing. On one hand, we have this innocent, inanimate killing machine and on the other hand, a powerful article of clothing. Amazing, isn't it, the dark depths of their twisted logic? And it's virtually impossible to discuss this with them because, well…..their brains are just improperly wired. It's NOT a matter of opinion; it's a matter of being deeply and sexually ATTRACTED to an object (and I'm not talking skirts) yet being in total denial about it. People could go around carrying weed whackers and chainsaws, too….they just don't. Good piece, Mel.

    1. I just read your reply to my daughter on the phone (she has no internet right now) and she laughed so much at:

      "it's a matter of being deeply and sexually ATTRACTED to an object (and I'm not talking skirts) "

      I have to remember that one.

  3. One thing (of many) that I have noticed about conservatives is that they are quick to assign blame but are generally silent on offering possible solutions (that don't involve killing.)

  4. Well written, as usual. The wrong things are being blamed and few people are willing to address the real issue behind it. It's testosterone addiction. :p

  5. Guns in the hands of children is an argument I get sucked into frequently. Perhaps because it is an area in which I have personal experience. Last night I was arguing with someone. He thinks laws aren't necessary, but brought up medicine bottles and how if you have children you buy the kind with child proof caps and if you don't have children you buy the kind without. So I brought up the fact that in my state if a child gets medicine they shouldn't have and something bad happens the parents are investigated and often charged with at least some sort of neglect. If a child gets a gun left out by the parents and the child shoots themselves or someone else, it is a horrible accident and the parents have gone through enough and shouldn't be charged with anything.
    But the short skirt analogy is even better.
    And just because I don't know the answer, so if a person has a gun, and it falls out of the deer stand, and shoots the person, is gravity the one we blame for the bullet wound? Or the person for putting the gun where it could fall? Or the wind for shaking the deer stand? The person in Diamond that this happened to sued and won a small amount from the gun manufacturer but they weren't even anywhere near the deer stand. It gets so confusing.

    1. We are making a huge mistake really in looking for any logic in any of this.