Saturday, 29 November 2014

Whatever Floats Your Boat

WARNING: Adult content.

It began with a chance posting by a friend, of this "meme"...

I happen to feel very, very strongly about this. Cross-dressing in itself is just one aspect of the whole issue, but it's the one that gets most attention so I'll come back to that.

Then, at breakfast we were joking around about fetishes (hey, I live with Martin Boxall) and I sort of went off on a tangent about not understanding some fetishes. For example I don't like pain. Ever. No, not even then. Martin pointed out that physiologically pain and pleasure are very close. So they say, anyway. I disagree. But I remarked how it's all about whatever floats your boat. None of my business. If you like that, go for it.

The problem, as with anything (oh yes, this is NOT a discussion about sex, sorry to disappoint you) is that people often aren't certain about what they like/enjoy. No really. I've posted about this before. About familiarity, cultural and peer presure, expectations, and then of course there's grooming, the darkest side of it all.

The problem (when we are talking about pleasures of the flesh) is that the line between seduction and coercion is a bit vague. So there's that.

You cannot have missed the book (and now movie) "50 Shades of Grey". Some love it, some think it's rubbish. Well. That's all a matter of taste, but having spoken to many, many women who've been through abusive relationships, they recognized it well.....

So much to discuss.

Let's back up here. As I said, whatever floats your boat. AND, if it doesn't. Either way, there's nothing wrong with you, or it. There's only the attitudes of society, and the individual opinions of others. They don't matter. Don't allow them to influence you.

Eddie wears what he pleases. Who SAYS they are women's clothes? Let's look at the skirt. Worn by Scotsmen, Romans, Polynesians, etc etc. Big strong manly men. If you tease a Scot in a kilt you'll likely discover whether or not you enjoy pain, very quickly.

High heels? Very popular for men in previous centuries.

Makeup? Worn by Vikings.

And so on.

I have to tell you the funniest thing I heard in a long time was a guy ranting on about how gay Jack Sparrow looked in his make-up, whilst being covered in brightly coloured floral tattoos.

What absolute horseshit.

What you wear, how you decorate yourself, has as much to do with sexuality as it does with koi carp.

We, as humans, have been gussying ourselves up to look more interesting for half a million years. Earliest efforts were beads made of bone, and a bit of chalk or soot on the skin. Once we made clothes we wanted them in other colours. Dye was as valuable as gemstones.

So, who says this or that is right, wrong, appropriate, or for which gender? Fashion. Fashion is evil. Fashion is oppressive and dull. Men have now worn the same uniform of suit and tie for over 100 years. Lack of imagination? Fear? What?

Fashion is also fun. Use it as you wish. But for it to decide who wears what? CRAZY. In some Muslim-ruled countries you can be imprisoned for "cross-dressing". FASHION caused that. Religious fashion, sure, but fashion nevertheless.

The Amish, and Old Order Mennonites. They wear a uniform. Sure it's modest and "plain" - that's the idea. But then many other other styles are just as modest and plain. Or more so. But that was the fashion when the edict went out.

Being an anarchist I treat fashion the way I treat everything else, and I will NOT be dictated to by a bunch of wealthy European (and increasingly these days, Korean) designers. Especially since they began the anorexia epidemic. Are stick insect women attractive? Matter of opinion.

There are two ways to approach clothing, practicality and fun. Anything else is stupid.

I was out shopping not so long ago, and a rather over-zealous assistant tried to sell me a plain top. I dismissed it with a wave of my hand "too plain". She said "it goes with everything". Lack of imagination. "Goes with". What the hell does that mean anyway?

But to get back to the point, there is actually no such thing as women's clothing. There is clothing. Women wear clothes. When women wear clothes (unless they borrowed it from a man) it's women's clothing. And if you don't get that, I pity you. It means you have been got at.

THAT is the point of the blog, BTW. OK, you still don't get it. I'll continue.

Let's go back to the fetishes.

Listen, I am as weird as the next person, but some of these fetishes I don't understand at all. Foot fetishes. It's actually a running joke in my circles that I don't get that one. Feet? Feet are dirty. I don't like dirty for a start. OK, so let's assume they were clean, perfectly groomed feet. Not a callous or hangnail to be seen. Sorry, where's the appeal? In any case MOST feet are either fat or bony, precious little in between. Most women's feet are deformed - due to their fetish for high heels, ironically. I have the cutest feet you ever saw. Perfect in every way, natural shape, no weird tan lines, carefully trimmed nails, yada yada. AND? I stand on them. What else can you DO with feet? Nothing.

OK, let's be blunt, they don't FIT anywhere? RIGHT? So......what? I have no idea.


Whatever floats your boat. It's harmless. Totally harmless. Even if I was out in public barefoot and someone stared at my feet, it does me no harm. (I might draw the line at having them licked. My dog does that and it is revolting.) Nobody gets hurt. Knock yourself out. I'll send you a pair of my socks.

Sadly, some of this stuff IS harmful. Not always in obvious ways. It's that grey area verging on grooming that concerns me. People get talked into things. Just as they talked into believing that eyeliner is only for women - an opinion I don't share incidentally, I LOVE men in eyeliner - they also believe they are supposed to enjoy this, this, or that.

Or not.

I'm not actually sure which is worse, the harm caused by getting talked into something you don't want to do, or the harm caused by the shame of wanting to do something, but society says you shouldn't. HMM. Mull that one over.


  1. I buy my t-shirts and jeans in the men's department because they tend to wear better than the jeans and t-shirts sold in the women's department here. And yeah, whatever floats your boat is good. I have stayed so far away from 50 Shades of Grey that I don't really know anything about it except that it might hit too close to what was once home.

  2. Women's clothes? the only item of clothing that I would consider as qualifying for the title would be the intimate garment. Men don't get athletic support (or much at all in my imagination) wearing something designed for the female genitalia.

    Fashion? At least it changes with the seasons. Tradition on the other hand has the judge and lawyers in an English court of law wearing a curious mish-mash of seventeenth century wigs and fifteenth-century scholar's gowns, while the gentlemen of the orchestra are typically expected to perform in full nineteenth-century evening dress while the ladies (God bless 'em) are allowed a little more leeway.