There is something that pisses me right off. You know me, I only take serious things seriously, and I laugh about everything else. In between is a small but annoying category of stuff that isn't important enough for anger, but it's not funny either. It includes
The Born Again.
No, not those ones. They behave just the same though. They preach at you.
I'm referring to those people who until recently have shoved everything into their faces without consideration of quantity, quality, nutrition, calories, or even poison. They not only ate whatever they felt like, but bragged about it, and then one day they had a sort of epiphany.
Maybe they gained weight.
Maybe they got sick.
Maybe their teeth rotted.
Maybe they couldn't afford it anymore.
Maybe they just grew up.
Whatever the reason, and I'm sure there are others, they suddenly decided to eat very differently.
The sensible thing to do would be to cut down the quantity, and reduce or cut out the obvious junk, maybe add some more fruits and vegetables, and lower the sugar and salt.
But there's no sensible going on here. In fact, they go stark raving mad.
I have actually, first hand, seen people go from McDonald's to organic vegan without passing GO.
I think that's a bit extreme, but of course it's absolutely none of my business, and if they shut up about it, then when I happened to run into them shoving down a bacon breakfast sandwich in Tim Horton's I wouldn't look quite so shocked, now would I?
Instead of quietly changing their habits, they make a song and dance about it. A huge production in fact, including endless social media reports on their new diet. DRAMA. DRAMA, DRAMA. Attention seeking crap.
I am happy for them if this is making them happier. Jolly good. How could I not be?
It's when they start the preaching that I get annoyed.
They completely forget that I was the person they told "I'd never touch wholegrain bread, it's full of bloody birdseed!" Now they are telling ME, unsolicited, that I should be eating quinoa.
They wouldn't listen when, after they complained to me about chronic digestive issues, I tentatively suggested considering changing the way they ate. Too obvious at the time perhaps. I got told I didn't know what I was talking about. Now they are claiming to eat "clean food". You know, I never knew mine was dirty.
When they asked me where I got all my energy from, I never said "I eat well" because I thought it was too provocative. But they didn't think twice about lecturing ME about protein intake. They weigh the stuff, for pity's sake.
To be perfectly honest, they are being downright rude. Something I have always tried to avoid. Doesn't seem to work the other way around.
So, this is an open message to those of you who have climbed aboard some new dietary bandwagon.
GOOD FOR YOU.
Now shut up.
I've been eating good food since the day I was born. Yes, I was lucky. Have I ever ranted at you about it? Did I ever nag you over your choices when they were bad? No, I was tactful. So, do me a favour and get on with it quietly.
Oh, and by the way, Hitler was a vegetarian.