Friday, 15 May 2015

Won't You Join Me?

You know, there are two kinds of good people in this world. There are those who are all about peace and love, and there are those who are all about activism and fighting the good fight.

There's also this whackadoodle idea that you can't be both. Of course you can.

It's no different to those who think you can't be a friend and a parent to your child. Bollocks. I've managed it with all of mine. You just have to be a good friend, not an enabler. It's actually quite simple.

Then there's this nonsense that if a person isn't perfect then they are bad or wrong. But nobody is perfect, not me, not you, not anyone. So if you only vote for/marry/employ/socialize with perfect people, you're going to be out of luck.

We live in a both/and world, not an either/or world. You can be two things at once in all sorts of ways, and it's perfectly OK to take a middle line. That doesn't make you weak, or conflicted, it makes you balanced.

In so many arguments, I watch people paint themselves into a corner because they forget about compromise, and they just end up looking like idiots.

If you don't mind looking like an idiot, then by all means, carry on. If you prefer to sound reasonable here are a few words you might want to think about really carefully before using:


Because there are always randoms thrown into the mix.

And as I've pointed out many times (ad nauseum, in fact) you can be a jolly, even silly person (raises hand), and also take important things seriously. Even switch from one to the other and back with ease. Even use humour to point out great injustice. Comedians are frequently modern philosophers.

It's all about balance, people. Not extremes. Balance is both healthy and useful. It's a sign of paying attention, because it means you've seen both sides of an issue. There always are two sides.

We have a situation all too frequently in social media where the opposite view is ridiculed and dismissed instead of being considered and discussed.

Ridicule and dismissal are easy. Children can do it. Dogs can do it actually (piss on it and walk away). It's the lazy way.

Listening and offering a thoughtful response takes more time and effort. So people don't bother, and as a result they don't learn, and they also do a great deal of harm.

I am trying my hardest not to go the ridicule and dismissal route, but to listen and offer a thoughtful response. I consider it the mature way. Sometimes it's difficult, sometimes it's really, really difficult. But I think it's worth it. I invite you to give it a shot.


  1. Wondering if you were fending of a particular incident, or just the mindless mode in general? Although, I have to admit, once one becomes mindful and grasps how important it is, it makes going back rather difficult. Maintaining mindfulness...what a concept. ;) ~ Blessings! :)

  2. Yup, the case in point, yesterday. A few questions came to mind; if the child failed the year, surely the games should have been taken away earlier before it escalated. Or definitive game time allotted. More communication with the school.

    1. More communication period. We have evolved language at the risk of choking to death, so you know, let's talk to each other.

  3. Amen and beat you to it. See here.