Week 2 of the Challenge

Apparently, on week 2 I need to learn to read. No really. Last week was all about getting up earlier, which I actually only managed a couple of days, but I don't really care, I have my own views on that.

ANYWAY reading it again, I was also supposed to improve my nutrition and do "sport" in week one. For some reason I thought these came later.  So first let's deal with those.

Part One

I eat well. I've never been one for a lot of sweet stuff, I cook 99% from scratch (I still buy ketchup and mayo, and that's not likely to change), and I have a personal dislike of over-indulgence. Look - this is not a judgement. If you pig out, be it regularly or occasionally, that's up to you. I hate the feeling of being stuffed, and I stop eating BEFORE that happens. I've had people hate me for this. I've been called names. I've been envied. The whole range. But it's not virtue, it's comfort. I have no desire to feel uncomfortable, so...I don't do it. Fucking logical, sorry if you're not. No, really. You know the old joke of the man who goes to the doctor and says "Doc, Doc, it hurts when I do THIS..." so the doctor says, well, don't do it. That.

However, you only have to look at me to see that I eat too much anyway. So, clearly, I need to stop before I'm satisfied, and THAT dear friends is extremely hard. I don't believe in dieting. No...wait. Let's get the word right. What you eat is your diet. That's what diet means. So...we all diet, all of the time. What I mean is, I don't believe in fad diets. Low this, low that....load of bollocks. If you want to be thinner, you eat less food. It's simple. Got animals? Feed them less, they get thinner. Very, very simple. In theory. Doing it is quite another matter. But it makes life easier so I am attempting to eat less, and I actually began this morning with one slice of toast instead of two. If anyone is shocked at this, so you should be. Can I keep it up? Don't know. But what the heck, I'll give it a shot.

Sport.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......

No. I hate sport. I don't even watch sport. I don't "get" sport. If anyone wants to try to tell me why it's good or whatever, good luck. I played a bit of tennis and squash when I was younger and had a lot of energy to burn off, but I discovered that I could do it in other ways, which didn't require funny clothes, money, appointments, or a partner. I can't run, so that was out (I can't run. I physically can't. I can sort of waddle fast, to catch a bus, but my limbs just don't do whatever they are supposed to do to co-ordinate a run. In my only ever long-distance run, at school, I came in behind two kids with asthma and one with mild C.P........FFS). But I used to walk for miles, cycle even farther. Since that stopped I've relied on dancing and physical labour, with a bit of yoga. These are not sport. These are anti-creaky methods. If I don't move around frequently, and in an extreme manner, I seize up. I have a treadmill too, and that is going to be my best friend for this part of the challenge. I need to strengthen the muscles in my back, and this is how I think I can do it. We'll see.

Part Two

Make someone a birthday or celebration cake.

Conveniently we have a birthday boy in the house in a couple of weeks, so without giving away any hints, because he reads this, a certain husband will be getting a cake.

I am not brilliant at cake decorating. I can bake, no problem. I make great cakes. Sir will require chocolate, so I need to buy some (funny that) and I'll save the remaining details until later.

Part Three

This is where I add a personal thing that I know needs doing. Mine's a bit bizarre as a challenge, but it's going to be harder than ALL of the above. Yeah. I need new glasses. Badly. Urgently.

This. Is. Hell.

I am a bit vain, I admit, so I agonize over anything I buy, but that's not the real problem here. Well, OK, it sort of is....I'll explain. First you have to understand that I don't do fashion. I never have, even back when one was supposed to. These days there is freedom in esthetics. You just do as you please. Pick any era. Go nuts. I am not conservative in how I dress. Quite the opposite. AND I don't dress for others, I dress for me. All that said, there's nothing makes you look old or frumpy faster than the wrong glasses. So am I daring?

Hell no. I'm boring. For the last yibble years I have gone almost always for the whole minimalist rimless thing, which is the cowardly choice.

And this has got to stop. They get wobbly and I hate that. I spend half my life with a tiny screwdriver, doing up tiny screws....which I can't see, obviously. 

So, this week I'm going to put a gun in my back, and buy new glasses. I may whine a lot. First world problems, but there we are, that's MY challenge this week.