Tact

I have been asked, quite pointedly actually, why I haven't blogged as much in my old way, i.e. I haven't blogged as much or as deeply since coming to Blogger. I've told you I'm pretty busy right now, but that isn't really it. There have been plenty of ideas come to mind.

No, the problem is, since changing to a fully open blog, one that I advertise on Facebook and that every single person I know has access to I find I'm constrained by tact.

Some of you will remember blogs in previous locations that discussed matters which arose elsewhere, and although I don't name names, and I'm fully aware that small minds talk about people and all that jazz, if you were the person that inspired that general topic, you might not take it too well.

It becomes almost impossible, in fact, to discuss, generally, an issue which somebody specific is dealing with right now, because of how it looks. I'll invent a fictitious example to show you what I mean.

Let's say that Alice Peabody, an old friend from way back, and I chat occasionally on Facebook. We aren't as tight as we once were, but I still like her and, in general,  respect her. Alice's marriage is falling to bits, but although she doesn't say why, it's plain to anyone following her stuff, that it's her own damn fault. She's been too demanding of the man.

One of the things I've noticed about some women is how they make conflicting demands. On the one hand they demand money. They expect their partner to provide for them, not just for the necessities of life, but for every whim. These women are gold-diggers, and rather high maintenance. I've never been like that so I tend to judge them rather harshly. But, if the guy is daft enough to allow this, it's none of my damn business.

However, some of these women, demand a second thing. Time. They want him home promptly at 6pm, and never to work weekends, because it affects their social life. If he spends too much time working, he gets it. She nags him.

So, she wants him to earn money, but she doesn't want him working. You see the problem. It is utterly ridiculous, and yet I've seen this more times than I can count.

If what I had just written actually applied to someone to who read this blog, it would be extremely tactless of me to mention it. Even if I thought Alice was unlikely to read it, by advertising its existence on Facebook, there is a chance. At the very least, it's like I'm talking about her behind her back, but she could go a step further and accuse me of lecturing her. I can change her name, and other details, or cover the matter in the broadest possible way, but she'd still see it aimed at her. (Unless of course she was so dense that she was in some sort of denial).

I just can't bring myself to do it. But this is often where my inspiration comes from, the lives and comments of other people.

I like to put a positive spin on things. I believe very much in positive thinking, but I'm also a realist. Sometimes we actually do have to discuss things that aren't positive. ARGH.

Anyway. There we are. Melanie trying to be tactful, and as usual, it ends up gagging me.